Books for the toilet should all be toilet humor right? That’s a bad joke. There are plenty of books that are perfect for the bathroom.
Whether it’s a novel, picture book, guest book, or trivia book, we’ve got a list of bathroom books to make your toilet reading experience wonderful.
Americans tend to spend a lot of time on the toilet (seriously more than other countries). I suppose it’s because our toilets are comfortable or maybe we use the bathroom to get away from family and in-laws. While on the pot we do all kinds of activities including:
- Talking on the phone
- Watching TV
- Perusing the Internet
- Trimming toenails and fingernails
- Shaving legs
- Sleeping
- Dancing
- Eating (really weird if you think about it)
- Drinking beer or a soda
- And of course reading!
Reading while on the toilet has become a normalized past time in homes across America. Often you’ll see a book placed on top of the toilet tank.
I’ve see trivia books, miniature books, and joke books alongside matches or a houseplant. In the last decade many authors have capitalized on toilet themed books to keep people entertained.
In this article we’ll share the best toilet humor book, a few toilet stories, a bathroom guest book, toilet trivia books, and the best toilet books for men and women. Let’s get started.
The David Sedaris Toilet Story
If you’ve ever read a David Sedaris book you know he’s a funny guy. He’s had multiple New York Times Best Sellers and though I’m not familiar with all his books I’ve read some of his earlier work (Naked and Me Talk Pretty One Day).
His writing style is hilarious, at times vulgar, and he depicts his experiences with friends and family in a way every reader can relate.
In his book Me Talk Pretty One Day, one chapter is devoted to a bathroom experience at a friend’s house. As soon as he enters the bathroom and locks the door he realizes he’s in a precarious situation.
I won’t ruin the story for you but it would be a hilarious chapter to read while on the commode. Sedaris goes out on a limb and talks in detail about the toilet (and what’s in it) – a topic that most authors avoid.
Best Books For Toilet Reading
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Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever
If you’re wondering the name of this book it’s literally “The Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever” written by Michael Ryan.
It’s obviously a joke and there isn’t much substance but if you host friends and family at your home it would bring a few laughs in the guest bathroom.
It could make a good gag gift, joke, or white elephant Christmas with friends and family. And, if you run out of toilet paper the pages in the book might be helpful!
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Bathroom Guest Book
We’ve all signed the guest book at hotels, events, and historical places, but have you ever signed a guestbook while on the toilet?
I’ve never come across a bathroom guest book however I think it would be great if I could write a few notes or a “thank you” for letting me use the throne. Maybe you could tell a tale of a brown trout that sank to the depths of the bowl?
Or a submarine that disappeared into the murky water? I’m sure a review of the bathroom and toilet would be much appreciated by the home owner.
Keep in mind the pencil or pen provided will be used by others using the toilet. My advice: bring your own writing utensil or wash it thoroughly before using.
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Toilet Trivia: Trivia For The Toilet
Everyone loves a good trivia challenge and testing your knowledge with random facts is certainly a better option than staring at a blank wall or reading a sign that says “Live. Laugh. Love” (I’m seriously tired of those generic signs).
Adicus Abbott created this book to keep people’s minds sharp while in “Papa’s Library”. The book is comprised of 250 facts that you might know if you’re a Jeopardy whiz. There’s sure to be a few questions about the porcelain throne as well.
Best Toilet Books For Men
Some men are just animals. They enjoy spending hours on the pot and also talking about poo. Some even analyze their big ones.
If you have one of these creatures in your home I’d first like to say “sorry”. It’s gross. Secondly, if a man is so obsessed with poo then it’s best he learn about it.
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Poo Log
Let’s get scientific. I’m not talking about putting microscope in the bathroom – that would be messy. A poo log is a journal that keeps track of the shape, size, and consistency of the load.
This book is equipped with dates and reference checklists. The more detail your man can provide the better the analysis. There’s a glossary and helpful information about the meaning of the poo.
All jokes aside, this could also be a good reference for someone who believes they have a food allergy (such as gluten or lactose intolerance) and it could be helpful to doctors when diagnosing disorders like Irritable Bowl Syndrome.
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52 Things To Do While You Poo
This book is for the anxious man who doesn’t know what to do with himself on the pot. For the guy who twiddles his thumbs, worries about the presentation he has to make later in the week, or notices imperfectios of paint on the wall in front of him.
52 things will give him plenty of things to work on. The book includes mazes, puzzles, trivia, and plenty of information on the act of pooing.
Some of the tips may help with maximizing the drop load and perfecting the clean wipe.
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What’s Your Poo Telling You
Our number six recommendation is another one for the poo loving man in your family. Has a family member ever asked you strange questions like “hey my poo was red” or “my poo was long and curled”.
Kids will commonly ask “why” but adults may be more concerned with new patterns in their poo.
This book clarifies a lot of the questions surrounding poo. It shares information on size, color, consistency, and red flags to look for (such as blood in your stool).
In my opinion this is probably the most interesting book because it’s not just a joke. It’s informative and provides medical explanations as well. What’s Your Poo Telling You is one of the most popular toilet books in print and deserves a place on your family’s toilet reading list.
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Everybody Poops 410 Pounds A Year
If you’re trying to create a bathroom library, the “410 pounds of poop” book should be on your bookshelf. This is another well reviewed book that provides plenty of information about your bowl movements.
Just the title of the book is enough information to make me squirm (410 pounds!). The author is appropriately named “Deuce” and he does a nice job assembling random facts about poo production. Most customers are purchasing it for male family members as a gag gift or a joke.
Conclusion
In this article we reviewed the best books for toilet reading. There are so many things to do during the day and pooing is a high priority. Knowing that we use the bathroom 4-5 times per day, we spend a lot of time sitting on the toilet.
But what you do on the toilet matters. Do you worry about deadlines or daydream about your upcoming vacation? Some people like to be productive so they trim their toenails, brush their hair, or catch up on sleep. But the most popular activity remains reading.
Sure you can choose a novel or biography, but we’ve shared a few books that will make laugh, smile, and you’ll learn something as well. If you have a fun-loving family they will appreciate a good bathroom book.
We hope you enjoyed this article and found what you were looking for. We tried to provide a few toilet trivia books, toilet books for men, a toilet guest book, and even a more scientific book to analyze stool samples. Take care and be sure to check out more on our toilet themed blog!