EAT signs are everywhere. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. The popularity of these signs have somehow withstood a decade of interior design evolution, or lack there of.
Am I the only one that doesn’t appreciate the mass appeal of the generic bold word?
I’ve tried without success to understand how these lifeless wooden signs became popular and why the masses acquiesced to the trend. I’ve even asked the tough questions to family members.
- What’s the purpose of this sign?
- Are you working on your vocabulary?
- Are you worried you’ll forget to eat?
I don’t get it and I know there are others who feel the same way. Haters unite!
And it’s not just EAT signs. I walk into kitchens and see the word FOOD above the pantry. I see the word FAMILY above the fireplace and I’m struck by the size of the LOVE sign in the hallway. Does it really need to be 1,000 font size?
You rarely text or email in all capital letters but EAT signs are always capitalized. Seems rather aggressive right? There’s a double standard because an all-caps EAT sign placed strategically in a kitchen supposedly adds “a beautiful touch that really brings the room together”.
Don’t worry, I’ve got an idea that will get through to the family member who thinks these signs are a good idea. Before we discuss the POOP sign in the bathroom let’s first look at 5 reasons you might need an all-Caps sign in your home.
#1 A Way To Expand Vocabulary
Let’s be honest, for a developed country America’s public education system is struggling. We can’t rely solely on the schools to teach our children so we put in extra work at home. Whether it’s math, English, or history there’s a lot we can do to make sure our children learn and rise to their potential.
Enter the huge wooden sign in the house that helps your child with vocabulary. Yes, these signs can hammer home a word so your child never forgets. EAT, HOME, HEALTH, and LOVE are most common and they’ve worked. After 5 years your child has mastered these words. Now let’s move onto more serious words.
I delight in the thought of seeing an all-caps sign that says SANGUINE in a home, a sign that says SISYPHEAN in a garage, or a sign that reads NASCENT above a baby’s crib.
These signs would display some creativity right?
#2 A Directive For Confused Individuals
A sign in all-caps must be viewed as a directive. Seeing the word EAT means you need to get after it and stuff your face! For someone with bulimia or anorexia the directive to EAT is a great thing. If fact, I’d recommend using this sign for people who need to eat more.
Unfortunately we usually see this sign in home with healthy, chubby individuals. Is it really necessary to direct chubby persons to EAT?
Let’s not forget the power of the subconscious either. Even if we don’t consciously process the EAT sign upon entering the kitchen our minds still feel it. The EAT signs appear and out flow the endorphins that trigger our salivary glands. Everyone EAT!
#3 A Way To Distract Guests
A huge, purposeless sign might be great way to distract your guest from your ugly room. Yes, maybe you haven’t upgraded to granite countertops so you hoping to distract guest with a massive sign that says “EAT”.
Their eyes will automatically drift to the sign and they’ll say “Oh my gosh, what a beautiful sign”, without noticing those composite countertops that came with the house.
After they comment on the sign you can redirect them to the TV room where you can distract your guests with a humongous FAMILY sign in hopes they don’t recognize the crusty couches they’re sitting on.
Let’s be real, those signs aren’t fooling anyone.
#4 A Daily Reminder In Case You Forget
A large wooden sign might be useful for the folks who are losing their mind. Young children who are still developing and seniors who may be suffering from Alzheimer’s could benefit from these all-caps signs in every room.
“Oh, yeah I’m supposed to eat in this room” or “Ah, this is where family sits”. A LOVE sign in entry way could confuse things and bring some entertainment.
I’ve got a solution for confusion in the bathroom below.
#5 Great Way To Make Your House Look The Same As Others
Another great reason to use a large sign in your house is to make the inside of your house exactly like the inside of others. This sounds strange right? For a society that encourages individualism, American’s really like to decorate their house based according to what magazines instruct them.
Of course not all interior design trends are bad. There are interior design trends that make sense too including indoor plants for fresh air and newly designed chairs to improve comfort.
But those signs…we just can’t resist. In the past I’ve made the argument that I’d respect a sign that is unique or makes people think, however most homes stick to the generic words that rarely induce a second thought.
The Solution: A POOP Sign In The Bathroom
If those closest to you can’t let go of the idea of a big sign in the kitchen (or hallway, or family room) then I’ve got an idea that may help them understand where you’re coming from.
The solution occurred to me while I was pondering life while on the pot and staring at a printed painting of “life’s rules to live by”. As I sat there looking at “Live, laugh, and love” on the wall in front of me I thought to myself “Why do I need to be reminded of this while I’m on the toilet”? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read those words and each time I read them they become less and less meaningful.
What I really needed was a sign that told me to POOP. Now, you might think this is a ridiculous idea but how is it different than the sign that says EAT in the kitchen?
If someone believes that an EAT sign is beautiful and meaningful in a kitchen then they can’t disregard the importance of POOPing in a bathroom. A POOP sign might improve focus on the task at hand. Exit velocity may increase and I guarantee it would bring more smiles to faces than the generic signs you so often see.
Ask your friends and family about the POOP sign and wait for their rebuttal. Chances are they won’t have one.
Here’s to having a POOP sign above the toilet!