Every so often someone will walk into your life while you’re sitting on the toilet. It’s uncomfortable and it’s awkward, but more than anything, it’s embarrassing.
Immediately you think “Why didn’t they knock”. Meanwhile, the person on the other side of the door walks away with their head down, wondering, “Why didn’t they lock the door”.
So, whose fault is it?
This is something I’ve pondered many times while sitting on the john. If you’re reading this, I imagine you may be curious as well.
The Knock
We’re taught as youngsters to always knock before entering a room. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bathroom or a bedroom, knocking is the polite thing to do.
We don’t know how knocking became the preferred method of toilet interaction but I have some assumptions.
First, a knock is anonymous. The person knocking can scamper away without being known if someone is using the toilet. I’m not sure how important anonymity is, however, it takes familiarity out of the interaction and may make the person sitting on the john feel more secure.
I’ve also heard people using the toilet who cough in response to avoid using their voice. A cough maintains anonymity on both sides of the interaction.
Second, the vibration of a knock travels through a wood much better than a voice. Thus, it takes much less effort to use a knuckle against a door than to holler through a crack.
If we look back at history, we can see how knocks were used in other ways.
- Romeo, famously knocked on Juliet’s window by throwing pebbles (a hybridized knock but knock none-the-less).
- The mafia, and other street gangs use secret knocks to enter private meetings (you’re not getting in unless you know the knock).
- Prisoners use the knock with their neighbors to communicate and hide their voice.
Interesting to note that none of these examples have to do with the toilet.
My Knockless and Lockless Experience
It happens to everyone multiple times throughout life, but there’s one experience I can’t forget.
It occurred several years ago while I was working. The location of the incident took place at a guesthouse/workplace where colleagues came and went.
It was a communal area where people could use the internet and peruse the free library. Occasionally we would host a guest and on this particular day, a colleague had invited a visitor.
There were only a few people in the workspace but all were occupied with work, relaxation, or conversation. At some point, I excused myself to use the bathroom.
While I was doing my thing, the guest opens the door, takes a step forward and notices me on the commode. Embarrassed, he quickly turned and shut the door. If that was all that occurred I surely would have forgotten the incident.
However, on his way out he said “come on, why didn’t you lock the door”.
I remember the initial feeling of thinking “yes, why didn’t I lock the door” then I thought about the alternative.
Why didn’t he knock?
It was only a split second, but I considered jumping up off the toilet and giving him a piece of my mind.
I wondered why he looked to cast blame before considering how he could have approached the situation differently. On his part, knocking was certainly an option.
Since then, I’ve thought about that situation many times.
- Is responsibility ultimately on the person in the bathroom for not locking the door?
- Is it wrong to assume every door has a lock (in this situation it had a lock but not all bathrooms may have locks)?
- Do some people leave the door unlocked because they enjoy the risk?
- When is it okay to open a door without knocking?
- Should people blame the other or blame themselves?
I do my best to first assess what I could have controlled before casting blame on others. However, the gentleman that didn’t knock on the bathroom door reminded me that it was my fault for not locking the door, and he did so with such certainty that I was left feeling responsible for the situation.
Of course, I’ll take responsibility for not locking the door, but I hope that those who fail to knock also hold themselves accountable for the awkward situation.
Conclusion
The knock or lock: who is to blame? It’s a tough call but I think ultimately it’s the user’s responsibility to lock the door behind them. A lock prevents accidents by the pervert, I mean person, attempting to enter.
On the other hand, it’s quite rude to open a bathroom door without first knocking.
We’re taught at a young age to always knock on a closed door. After all, you don’t know what’s behind the door. It’s understandable that we’ll occasionally forget when nature calls.
Let me know in the comments whether the knock or lock is more important and share your story! Thanks for reading.