If you grew up in America you’ve likely vomited in a toilet (not once but many times). You’ve likely seen people in Hollywood movies throwing up in toilets too.
Suffice to say it’s a common occurrence in the western world and it doesn’t occur only at drunken parties. Vomiting in the toilet happens after eating gnarly food cooked by your mother-in-law and occurs after eating dinner at that suspect restaurant with the way-to-cheap buffet.
Throwing up in a toilet is a right of passage in America. It happens all the time, but we’ll admit, it’s most common with college students who think they’re cool throwing back one tequila shot after another.
In this article, we’ll look at the history of the toilet throw up. We’ll also examine the correct positioning for projectile vomiting, hair placement, and cleanup.
Lastly, we’ll consider the dangers of throwing up in a public restroom and preventative measures for contracting disease.
We hope you gain insight into this uncomfortable practice and prepare yourself for the next time your head’s in a toilet bowl.
Vomiting In The Toilet: How Did It Begin
Although the exact century is unknown, the toilet vomit likely dates back to British royalty. Their privileged life brought with it many luxuries that peasants wouldn’t be able to access.
While peasants could enjoy their mead wine, they didn’t have access to proper sewage systems, which might dispose of their stinky spew. Thus, they were forced to release their stomach into a bush or stream (which no doubt made more people vomit downstream).
Royalty, on the other hand, had access to chamber pots near their bedrooms. Chamber pots may sound fancy, but they also lacked plumbing.
Maids were in charge of emptying the filthy buckets before there was sewage (imagine someone carrying out your fecal waste everyday). In fact, during the Medieval Period every job application for maids required experience with carrying 10 kilos of sewage.
There’s no doubt these maids learned which meals to prepare and not prepare for their masters.
Royalty, however, didn’t just use the chamber pots to deposit fecal matter. It’s quite likely they used the same pot to vomit projectiles after eating bad food or after drinking too much wine.
Thus, the practice of vomiting in the toilet began.
With modern sewage systems in place, the opportunity to vomit in the toilet became available to all (cheers were heard all over the world).
We believe that the positioning of the toilet, diameter of the bowl, and ease of clean up are all reasons people prefer the toilet to other options (we’ll get into detail below).
Places To Throw Up: Why The Toilet Is The Ideal Place
You might be wondering why someone would want to vomit in a toilet. Sure it’s gross, but let’s first look at all the options. We’ve compiled a list of places to throw up.
Public Places
- Bathroom (restaurant or park)
- Sink
- Toilet
- Garbage can
- Floor
- Street
- Grass or Dirt
- Fountain (water)
Throwing up in a public place isn’t cool. In fact, it’s downright dirty and can ruin a reputation. Compounding the circumstance is that you’ll still need to get home.
If you’re within a bar or restaurant you’ll want to be careful in the bathroom. Play it cool. Don’t tip off your infirmity.
Search for a stall and utilize the squat position not the kneeling position. Passers-by will only be able see your feet so the squatting will throw people off – they may think a toilet facing squat is a toilet position they haven’t heard about (mental note for a future try).
There are also options to use the sink (I’d avoid this one if there are other guests). There’s the garbage can that you can vomit in, then leave behind. The aroma that emanates from the trashcan will confuse bathroom attendants who struggle to contain the stall stench.
Trashcan vomits are nasty for the people who carry them away, especially if there is no trashbag in the can. This will truly stink up the joint.
If you’re outdoors you can throw up in the street, on some grass, or in a public fountain. The fountain is a horrible idea but it’s a place you can circle back to the next day to celebrate your work.
Car
- Floor
- Plastic bag
- Lap
Throwing up in a car might be the worst place to vomit. Thankfully I’ve never had vomit in my car (only other people’s cars 🙂 ) but I’ve known plenty of people who have.
If the passenger is prepared and/or considerate they can do a clean vomit into a bag or cup (this takes focus and aim so a drunk individual can’t pull this off).
If you’re in a friend’s car or in a taxi, the one place you don’t want to vomit is on the floor. If it’s your friend he/she might never talk to you again and the taxi driver will curse (but it’s in his job description so it’s okay, just leave a decent tip).
Vomit has a way of seeping into and clinging to the fuzzy of a car floor and it’s virtually impossible to remove. Forget the chunks of vomit, the smell can linger in a car for years if it’s not washed and rinsed quickly and thoroughly.
If you’re in a vomit situation, have the decency to ask the driver to pull over and open the door to vomit. If you’re on a freeway this might not be possible so as hard as it may be, THROW UP ON YOURSELF! Yep, it’s way better to vomit on your new shirt than it is to spray projectiles all over the seats of a car.
Your friends will be grossed out but grateful you took one for the team.
A fun, wildcard option is to roll down the window and vomit out the side of the car. Your spew on the windows will gross out your evening date, however, the stories from this option will be legendary!
At Home
- Bed
- Floor
- Sink
- Bathtub
- Trashcan
- Toilet
- Backyard
Home is your best bet, but you have to get their first! If you’ve managed to make it out of the bar and out of the taxi without vomiting, you’ll be able to spew in the privacy of your own home.
If you fall asleep on the bed you might wake up to vomit on the bed or floor. Depending on how sick you are you might leave it and fall back asleep (not admitting I’ve done this).
Vomiting has a way of sneaking up on you so if you can get to the bathroom you’re in great shape. Once there you’ve got a plethora of options. The sink? The bathtub? How about the toilet? Remember, big chunks might overwhelm smaller drains in the sink and tub.
The most underrated place to vomit is in the backyard. The grass provides a soft landing for the hands and knees position and vomit is easy to spray with a hose. There’s very little clean up required. Since most people vomit at night they might be afraid to be outside when it’s dark or cold.
Let’s delve further into the most common place to vomit, the toilet.
The Art Of Throwing Up In A Toilet
So, you’ve made it home and you’ve arrived at the toilet. Congratulations! How do you approach it to throw up properly? Let’s walk through the steps to make this mouth fountain successful.
Positioning and Aim
First, you’ll want to be in proper position. Most people don’t want to stand when they are throwing up. A toilet is a perfect height for kneeling – prayer position (perfect for confession and atoning for the evening’s sins).
Approach the toilet and kneel down in front of it as if you’re praying to the porcelain God. Make sure the toilet seat is up and put your hands on the tank (not the toilet rim) in front of you.
You want to avoid putting your hands and arms on the toilet bowl at all costs – it’s just gross. Lean forward and put your face in close proximity to the bowl.
Vomit has a tendency to spray at strange angles – don’t be surprised if you find vomit on the ceiling or behind you the next morning.
A courtesy flush prior to vomiting will help wet the sides of the toilet bowl and keep chunks from sticking to the bowl.
Hair
Your hair, especially that of a woman (or male hipster) will be a serious issue when praying to the porcelain God. It’s one thing to get your hands dirty on a toilet, but it’s a much bigger problem if your hair dips into the toilet water.
The easy fix is to tie your hair back right? But people who need to vomit rarely have prep time.
This is an instance when friends can really bond. Whether it’s a sorority sister looking out for her bestie, or a fellow hipster helping his murse-wearing, fixie-riding bro, relationships become solidified at times like these.
Hold your friend’s hair back if they can’t do it themselves. Pull up and down on the hair to assist with aim (make horse riding sounds like “whoa boy” to add some distraction to the situation).
Muscles Engaged
If you’re in shape, you’ll likely vomit with ample distance. But this is not time for competition.
The power comes from the abs, lower back, and diaphragm. They produce massive involuntary contractions. The more power you have, the more distance you’ll get.
The spray diameter will also increase so make sure your face is IN the bowl. Get in there deep!
Clean Up
The clean up is no-fun, however, it’s pretty simple if you:
- Put your face in the bowl
- Preflush to wet the bowl
- Put toilet seat up
- Keep hair back
Often, there are splatter marks on the outside of the toilet bowl or on the seat. These can be wiped up with toilet paper. If possible refrain from using wash cloths or sponges, as you won’t want to use them again.
If you don’t have gloves you can use the mummy TP method we’ve highlighted in another article to clean the surface of the pot.
Bleach, Ajax, or other cleaning supplies work, but we always advise to use natural cleaners like vinegar and baking soda. Sprinkling baking soda is extra helpful as it absorbs smells in the bathroom. It can be added to the toilet bowl during cleaning and flushed without harm to the environment.
Can You Catch A Disease From Throwing Up In The Toilet
You can certainly catch a disease while throwing up on the toilet. This is especially true if you’re at a place like a public park where the bathroom is poorly cleaned and frequented by transients.
Hepatitis is the most likely candidate but also various STDs based on who was using the toilet and what their private parts touched. Be warned, your doctor will not believe you if you told them you caught something from the toilet.
If you’re at your own home you’re unlikely to catch a disease. You can, however, become sick from bacteria if you don’t wash and clean yourself properly after using the toilet.
If you share a home with roommates you might be susceptible to their diseases (if they have), or from family members.
Throwing Up In A Public Bathroom
Throwing up in a public bathroom does not sound fun! It’s a last resort but better than nothing. Public bathrooms are usually dirty, and as we mentioned above, aren’t cleaned on a regular basis.
Use the squat technique and mummy-wrap your hands in a public bathroom. The floors tend to be sticky with urine so be extra careful when putting your hands on the floor or toilet.
We recommend you avoid the following:
- Licking the toilet seat to test the flavor
- Licking your fingers after splashing toilet bowl water
- Using toilet bowl water to wash your face and rinse your mouth after vomiting
- Not bathing for a few days after vomiting
- Biting your nails after touching the toilet and floor in the bathroom
- Pricking yourself with a needle you found on the bathroom floor to see what it feels like
Throw up in Toilet Pictures
Conclusion
Throwing up in the toilet is part of American life. Sure, it may seem like a better idea to vomit in the sink, bathtub, or bucket, but the toilet can be easily flushed and cleaned.
You won’t always have the convenience of vomiting in your own home. Sometimes you’ll have to settle for a toilet at a park or restaurant. In these situations you’ll want to be extra careful to avoid interactions with other patrons and take precautions to avoid disease and bacteria.
If you’re at home you’ll have a different approach to vomiting in the toilet. Positioning, hair, and help from a buddy will all be important to maximize your output and ensure a clean exit of grossness from your oral cavity.
We hope this information on vomiting in the toilet highlighted the evolution and tradition of the practice. It’s not fun to do, but guess what, we’ve all done it. Whether it’s bad tacos, too many shots, or a bad case of the flu we’ll all have to deal with throwing up in a toilet. Just make sure you’re prepared!